Archive for the ‘birth’ Category

THE OWL AND PUSSY CAT WENT TO SEA   1 comment


The owl and the pussy cat went to sea

he was hooting

because he was so dam horny

pussy was pleased because she came too

the dam horny owl  was such a good screw

he hooted she meowed and he flapped all day

well she purred and meowed

after each orgasm that  she had that day

they set sail bon voyage for a day at sea

little did she know what he had planned

and now six months  later

she has to face reality

mad hooting firballs

that fly around the home each day

hooting like mad and purring away

such a strange sight to see

there’s a moral to this story

you see

next time you have sex

make it safe too

wear a condom

and this wont happen to you

as an unexpected sexual encounter

may leave facing reality

just like the owl and pussy cat

that went to sea

THE BEAUTY OF LIFE YOU GAVE ME THIS DAY   2 comments


The beauty of life you gave me this day

as new-born baby in your arms i did lay

safe and secure

with your love too

you fed me and clothed me

and held me close too

with mothers love

you were very special to me

as the gift of life

you gave to me

the hope the kindness

that all show too

why a mothers love is so

special gift too

my 100 th poem

YOU GAVE ME LIFE AND A HEART TOO   6 comments


You gave me life and heart to
you gave me hope and air to breath
and a heart that beats too

that’s why you’re so special
and i think of you each day

you are a special person
who lives so far away

but distance is no object
when talk on the phone too

as live wouldn’t be same
without hearing
your voice too.

that’s why you’re so special
and I love you.

we were born crying then we became old too   2 comments


We were born crying then we grew up too

to live our lives and learn from it too

we are fit when were young

then we get frail and old

and lose are mobility too

as everything we try

is not so easy to do

we were once able to run

and climb trees too

now as we get old we need

a stanna stair lift to go to loo

as stairs seem so tiring

and quite a journey too

we have our afternoon nap

and fall asleep with cat on our lap

telly is talking our hearing goes too

what did he say my hearing has gone too

as life has come and gone too

from when we were young

we are now old and frail too

EASTER IS FOR BUNNYS AND CHOCOLATE TO IF THIS DOESNT MAKE YOU LAUGH YOUR VERY SAD TO   1 comment


Easter is for bunnies and chocolate too

Easters is for hopping mad people

eating lots of chocolate like you

and what happens when chocolates gone

oh dear withdrawal symptoms set in and denial to

my you have put on weight my dear

don’t deny it I can see it on you

what do you mean my dear

well either you have put on weight

no dear your dreams have come true

what do you mean my dear

you a father shock horror

my nightmares come true

excuse me dear

I have news for you

marriage is over and divorce is due

I  am of to solicitors

its good-bye to you.

life of a son from birth at tea   11 comments


I came from the womb you gave birth to me

I was an interruption just as you were about to have tea

I apologise for the indigestion

well that is just me

I may not be perfect and can’t write much at all

I talk for hours you may think i am bore

but I’m your son and you love me to

life hasn’t been easy and I am sometimes a pain to

but if I wasn’t born I wouldn’t be here too

so you wouldn’t have anything to complain about

and life would be so smooth.

Shawn L. Bird

Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.

BY THE LEFT HAND...

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