Archive for the ‘birth’ Category
The owl and the pussy cat went to sea
he was hooting
because he was so dam horny
pussy was pleased because she came too
the dam horny owl was such a good screw
he hooted she meowed and he flapped all day
well she purred and meowed
after each orgasm that she had that day
they set sail bon voyage for a day at sea
little did she know what he had planned
and now six months later
she has to face reality
mad hooting firballs
that fly around the home each day
hooting like mad and purring away
such a strange sight to see
there’s a moral to this story
you see
next time you have sex
make it safe too
wear a condom
and this wont happen to you
as an unexpected sexual encounter
may leave facing reality
just like the owl and pussy cat
that went to sea
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The beauty of life you gave me this day
as new-born baby in your arms i did lay
safe and secure
with your love too
you fed me and clothed me
and held me close too
with mothers love
you were very special to me
as the gift of life
you gave to me
the hope the kindness
that all show too
why a mothers love is so
special gift too
my 100 th poem
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You gave me life and heart to
you gave me hope and air to breath
and a heart that beats too
that’s why you’re so special
and i think of you each day
you are a special person
who lives so far away
but distance is no object
when talk on the phone too
as live wouldn’t be same
without hearing
your voice too.
that’s why you’re so special
and I love you.
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We were born crying then we grew up too
to live our lives and learn from it too
we are fit when were young
then we get frail and old
and lose are mobility too
as everything we try
is not so easy to do
we were once able to run
and climb trees too
now as we get old we need
a stanna stair lift to go to loo
as stairs seem so tiring
and quite a journey too
we have our afternoon nap
and fall asleep with cat on our lap
telly is talking our hearing goes too
what did he say my hearing has gone too
as life has come and gone too
from when we were young
we are now old and frail too
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Easter is for bunnies and chocolate too
Easters is for hopping mad people
eating lots of chocolate like you
and what happens when chocolates gone
oh dear withdrawal symptoms set in and denial to
my you have put on weight my dear
don’t deny it I can see it on you
what do you mean my dear
well either you have put on weight
no dear your dreams have come true
what do you mean my dear
you a father shock horror
my nightmares come true
excuse me dear
I have news for you
marriage is over and divorce is due
I am of to solicitors
its good-bye to you.
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I came from the womb you gave birth to me
I was an interruption just as you were about to have tea
I apologise for the indigestion
well that is just me
I may not be perfect and can’t write much at all
I talk for hours you may think i am bore
but I’m your son and you love me to
life hasn’t been easy and I am sometimes a pain to
but if I wasn’t born I wouldn’t be here too
so you wouldn’t have anything to complain about
and life would be so smooth.
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